七律 异乡怀远

风过苍筠

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;&#805;; mso-hansi-font-family: &#718;&#805;;">晓风吹处染襟寒，九九芳辰暗嗟叹。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;&#805;; mso-hansi-font-family: &#718;&#805;;">好酒难同知己醉，黄花未共友人观。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;&#805;; mso-hansi-font-family: &#718;&#805;;">客中日月笼中鸟，故里湖山梦里澜。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;&#805;; mso-hansi-font-family: &#718;&#805;;">独向江流来处望，红笺无寄倚栏杆。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p>

鄱湖渔歌

<p>欢迎</p>

风过苍筠

<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>鄱湖渔歌</i>在2007-1-28 22:54:05的发言：</b><br/><p>欢迎</p></div><p>恭谢渔歌老师。望多指教。</p>

一得愚生

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br/>晓风吹处染襟寒，_"处"改"过"可免与七句重字,"染"何不作"一"<br/>九九芳辰暗嗟叹。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> _"九九"不解奥旨,重九?"嗟"平声,可考虑用"自"<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">好酒难同知己醉，<br/>黄花未共友人观。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> _部分合掌,可否纵开思路?<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">客中日月笼中鸟，<br/>故里湖山梦里澜。_后面对仗不工<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">独向江流来处望，<br/>红笺无寄倚栏杆。_结尚可,惟句子尚可更洗练</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p>

风过苍筠

<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>一得愚生</i>在2007-1-28 23:05:54的发言：</b><br/><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.75pt; tab-stops: 2.0cm;"><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;;"><br/>晓风吹处染襟寒，_"处"改"过"可免与七句重字,"染"何不作"一"<br/>九九芳辰暗嗟叹。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> _"九九"不解奥旨,重九?"嗟"平声,可考虑用"自"<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;;">好酒难同知己醉，<br/>黄花未共友人观。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> _部分合掌,可否纵开思路?<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;;">客中日月笼中鸟，<br/>故里湖山梦里澜。_后面对仗不工<br/></span></span><span class="title1"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-ascii-font-family: &#718;mso-hansi-font-family:&#718;;">独向江流来处望，<br/>红笺无寄倚栏杆。_结尚可,惟句子尚可更洗练</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><p></p></span></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p></div><p></p><p>1、多谢老师指谬。首句两字尊师意，改回原稿。品嚼之下，还是改回“过”与“一”字更好。再谢老师为我一锤定音了。不再彷徨。</p><p>2、此诗作于去年重阳节期间。其时正置菊华开放。故有此言。</p><p>3、“<font face="宋体">黄花未共友人观。</font><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> _部分合掌,可否纵开思路?</span><font face="宋体">故里湖山梦里澜。_后面对仗不工”－－可否请老师详批？愚下不知究里。呵呵，请原谅。</font></p><p><font face="宋体">苍筠愚钝，却酷爱诗词。朋友说江右诗社高手云集，愚下心中仰之慕之，却在社外徘徊数日，未敢近前。今日斗胆前来拜见各位高师，望不吝赐教。苍筠遥揖。</font><br/></p>

红叶

<p>&nbsp;扣题很紧，欢迎：）</p>

风过苍筠

<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>红叶</i>在2007-1-29 9:24:36的发言：</b><br/><p>&nbsp;扣题很紧，欢迎：）</p></div><p></p>谢红叶。礼上。